Friendships in motherhood
Aug 17, 2019
Friendships is motherhood change from pre-children. Some will remain the same, some you lose and some need a bit of adjusting while others will be brand new.
People without children don’t get it! They can’t be expected to as they’ve never experienced a sleepless night, engorged breasts, wet beds that need changing in the middle of the night, night terrors and everything else that comes with being a parent. Considering the schedule of a newborn or a baby going through a sleep regression or how important routine is has not registered for them. We can’t blame them for this, but it really hurts when they tell you that you’re being inconsiderate and difficult when you have to cancel plans last minute.
This is why moms groups are so incredibly useful. Motherhood can be exceptionally lonely, especially in the first 12 weeks or so. Your baby isn’t in any sort of routine, so planning coffee dates or appointments are very tricky. Babies receive their first lot of vaccines at 6 weeks and personally I don’t like taking my babies out before this. Especially in winter when it’s cold & rainy and there are plenty of people coughing from colds & flu in the shops. Eventually you make your way to a moms group and you find other people going through the same thing as you and they understand your situation.
“I think you have been detached this time around and people are finding it hard to connect with you…”
These are the very insightful words of my best friend when I told her I felt some friends had let me down since Grayson has been born.
I have needed to devote myself to Grayson as this is what I always dreamed motherhood would be like. I’ve spent countless hours letting him sleep on me, nurse on demand and just stare at this rainbow boy of mine. So yes, I probably have detached from life in general and wrapped myself in my little bubble, I don’t regret it for a minute. However, I am now starting to feel the effects of loneliness and I feel lost as to where to start.
It’s like ripping off a plaster
Yup, I have to just dive right in there and make an effort with moms I meet at groups. I’m in Cape Town and know of various groups on a Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday so I need to consciously make an effort. As I’m a full time stay at home mom I have the luxury of not returning to work so would love to find friendships with other moms in a similar position as me but that is certainly not a non-negotiable. I want to find moms that I connect with, have kids of a similar age and our friendships can grow along with our children. I’m not looking for friends for a season.
Friendships in motherhood
So yes, I am laying it out quite honestly here, I am lonely. All of my friends work so I don’t have the luxury of seeing them as much as I would like. And I know people’s lives are busy and hectic but friendships take effort and I’m ready. Are you?
If you’re reading this and also feel lonely and want to connect, pop me a DM and lets make a date to get together with our small humans.
Much love xxx