We are slowly finding our balance as a family of 4. What worked before now has to be changed to suit Grayson. Time has to be split between the 2 boys because they require different things from us. Our time as a couple is reduced even more than before as Grayson is still so small. Finding our new normal is something that’s slowly taking shape. Yesterdays routine often has to be modified today but I for one am getting used to being more flexible.
A year ago, almost to the day I wrote a post about family life (read it here) and how hard Shaun works. That has not really changed but he’s had to adapt to our new normal. He’s not working so late anymore as he’s up at 8am to take Tristan to school almost every day. He’s an incredibly light sleeper so we are currently sleeping in separate rooms. It’s not something that will last forever but it’s the season we currently find ourselves in. It works for us.
A day in our life
Mornings are still unpredictable for me as Grayson wakes anytime after 6:30am and then has a feed. He is then awake as we get Tristan fed & ready for school. Once he’s off to school, Grayson will generally nap on the go until his next feed. Tristan’s at school until 3/4pm most days so I have a lot of one on one time with Grayson which I treasure. I also use this time to nap, see friends, get grocery shopping done, do appointments, exercise, etc. Once Tristan is home we usually have some TV time for Tristan to unwind after a busy & tiring school day. Grayson is usually in the wrap or carrier if he’s not feeding so I can get on with making Tristan his dinner. Tristan eats around 5/5:30pm. Evenings are probably the most stressful because the dreaded suicide hour (more like 2 or 3 hours) falls over dinner time. We struggle to eat as a family as I’m often feeding so Shaun & Tristan will eat together and then I hand Grayson over and I eat. We are all learning to roll with whatever that evening brings. Sometimes we all eat at 5:30pm and other times we all eat at 6:30pm. Sometimes we all eat together sometimes we each eat independently. There are no rules.
Some days the boys bath together at 5pm then meal time shifts later. Some days it’s dinner and then Tristan baths alone before bed; so far Tristan is totally ok with adjusting to this ever changing schedule.
“Change is the only constant in life”; wise words from Heraclitus. And, what I’m learning from having kids is how true this is and the sooner one accepts it the happier everyone is!
Shaun and I are yet to have a date night since Grayson’s arrived earth-side but we do get to spend most evenings together watching a TV show before I turn in. We know that our time will come again as Grayson gets older and we need to treasure the time of him being so young.
So all in all we are finding our new balance as a family of 4 and to be honest I am loving being a mom to 2 beautiful boys!
Much love xxx